Spinning Sam

The other morning I was immersed in a book when I heard a crash. Sam had fallen backwards into the bathroom door. The look on his face read surprise, but not hurt. "Good boy!" I said, which is how I help him decide not to cry if he is on the fence about it. He got back to his feet and reeled drunkenly into a chair. Now he had my full attention. Wobbling to his feet once more, he promptly teetered over and collapsed. This time he lay on the floor staring into the middle distance, blinking.

It was now painfully clear to me that he had a brain tumor and was going to die either today or at the latest, tomorrow, in excruciating pain. Following this, grief would clutch me with such torturous spasms that I would be swept into the grave after him. Driving home from our funeral, Danny would be hit by a mac truck and perish too. All would be lost, including our life insurance policies.

As I imagined my future, Sam worked his butt into the air, spreading his feet wide apart for balance. Then he lifted himself up from the waist into a stand. This achieved, he began to spin in circles, gaining speed, stomping his feet, grinning at the blurry floor. Suddenly he crashed hands-first into the glass doors and stood there, panting on the glass. After a few seconds he pushed off with a triumphant, "daa!" and pirouetted with a thud into the bathroom door.

I am happy to let you know that contrary to my initial dignosis, Sam does not have a brain tumor. Rather, he is so astoundingly intelligent (and handsome, not that this fact directly relates here) that the spatial-balance nerve centers of his brain are taking on new challenges by leaps and bounds and crashes.

Sam & the Daffodil

Sam loooooves the outdoors and will happily abandon his piles of inside toys for sticks, rocks, and dirt. We have a few daffodils that came up in our neglected flower beds. The soil and erosion are so bad that only one of the daffodil clumps managed a single bright yellow flower. I watched it for days doing its joyful trumpet solo amid the desolation of exposed tree roots and red clay. Then a few days ago while I was distracted on the phone, I noticed that Sam had managed to climb up into the flower bed and was picking at the petals of the doomed bloom. Before I could stop him, he had squashed it in his fat fist. Then he shook it off his palm like sticky corn and, oblivious to my wails, stomped the petals soundly into the dirt. Sometimes he still returns to that clump of daffodil shoots to think about what he found there, and how fun it was to wreck it.

Simon & Sam

Silly Simon.
Happy Sam.

Noisy Simon.
Angry Sam.

Sleeping Miracle

Every night I rock Sam to sleep until he's heavy and warm in my arms. Then I lay him in his crib (we both sigh) and I tiptoe out of his room. As I pull the door closed behind me, I stare at the floor unseeing, my insides melting in syrupy happiness. And then I get this thrill of anticipation for morning, because I can't wait to return to that Sam-smelling sanctuary and watch the flare of his breathing nostrils, the peach-soft curve of his cheeks, the long baby lashes, the bright red mouth that makes sucking motions long after the bottle is gone, his little monkey fists tangled in his hair. All night I imagine his features with only the darkness and angels to adore them, and I can't wait till morning. :-)

Happy Birthday Daddy

Today is Danny's birthday!

I'm so happy you were born in 1971 in Jos, Nigeria, so that we could get married, so that we could have Sam, so that it could be Wednesday, March 21, 2007, and we could celebrate. i love you. :-)

No Edits

Sometimes I take 10 pictures of Sam in order to get one that's in focus. Sometimes I take 20 pictures of Sam in order to get one that's at least good enough to edit in PhotoShop. Sometimes I take one picture of Sam as he's walking up to give me a hug and it's perfect. :-)

Sam in Mall

The other night we took Sam to the mall for the first time since he started walking 3 months ago. His legs pumped wildly in the air before he even touched the ground. The second his toes brushed the floor, he lurched forward at full speed down the corridor. Everyone seemed to be coming the opposite direction, so he looked like a little salmon swimming upstream, swatting away adult legs and weaving with great determination.

We chased after him with the stroller as fast as we could, until we had done two full laps of the mall. He didn't even veer off into any store. The only time he paused was on the second level at the glass wall overlooking the lower level. He watched people below and climbing the stairs with intense curiosity. When we turned him around, he started walking again with an enormous sense of purpose. He never even looked behind to check if we were in sight!

It was so hilarious to just watch him that we took him to another mall with a playground a few nights later. The play area was crowded with older kids. We set Sam down near the edge and he belted out, "daaaa!" in a very authoritative way. Then he held aloft one finger and began to walk at top speed. He did lap after lap of the play area, weaving around kids and play things in order to accomplish his goal of forward movement, repeatedly shouting "daaaa." Once an older boy running knocked him flat on his face and that shocked him into tears. But soon he was back to walking and shouting to everyone.

Sam Uses the Trowel

(....cont. from last blog)

I showed Sam how to use the garden trowel to break up clods of clay. This kept him occupied for a long time, stabbing the ground. Then he put the shovel in his mouth. Niiiiice.

Spring Planting

This past Saturday I planted a nandina bush. Sam helped by making the task take three times as long as necessary. I had to keep the cow manure compost outside the fence so he wouldn't play in it. This meant I had to go in and out of the gate to get it. Sam, being an escape artist, would dart out the gate between my legs and make a beeline down the driveway towards the street. I'd have to drop everything to chase him and return him into the patio area, then fetch some manure, and sqeeze back in the fence without giving him chance to escape.

He was also fascinated by the hose. Sometimes he put the whole end of the hose in his mouth (thankfully no water running through it at that time).

We both got very muddy, but we managed, against great odds, to get one small bush in the ground.

Sam in Tub

Young Financier

Enjoying the comfort of his plush Spiderman chair, and sporting his pj's, Sammy practices writing his first check.