Alternatives to Bun Basting

Basically what you should do if you, or someone that you love, has diaper rash, is to get things air dried ASAP. If you seal in the moisture, it will irritate the rash something awful! For Sam, air drying is a profound hardship because it takes an eternity--for example, 8 minutes, during which time he would prefer to cast himself headlong off the changing table. So what I discovered that you can do to speed things up is to take your Turbo Power 3200 High Performance Professional HairDryer and aim it directly at that rashy bum. Set it to "cool air" and attach the air concentrator nozzle. Then switch that bad boy ON.

You may want to put on ear plugs since this 18,000 rpm Italian motor can can reach the outer decibal levels of human hearing. But if you don't have ear plugs, or prefer not to poke foreign objects in your baby's ear canal, then just smile encouragingly or bellow out a little hum. You may also need to swat kicking legs out of the way, or better yet, grab an ankle and hold it aloft. I can testify to you that Sam thinks it's hilarious to have his bum air dried and plus, it dries up the dampest rash in seconds.

Danny and the Doberman came in to see what all the noise was about. They were wondering why I was blow drying Sam's butt. I explained it to them, but they didn't understand. I pointed out to them that the blow dryer is:

- 100% Natural
- hypo-allergenic
- preservative free
- not tested on animals
- free of synthetic fragrances, parabens and harsh ingredients
- may reduce the need to baste red buns (and other parts) with gooey cream
- starts working immediately

(and not many rash creams can claim all that.) I also pointed out how happy Sam was. They still staunchly refused to comprehend. Well, what I happen to know for a fact is that neither of them have a rash, at this moment. But if they did, I swear they would be eager to experience the relief which Sam is clearly enjoying.

Sometimes it happens that Sam starts to pee towards the blow dryer in a towering arc that would make a pole vaulter jealous. It's important to turn off the blow dryer right away because, when I checked before, electrical current is even more uncomfortable than a rash.

In other "breaking" news (literally), Sam is breaking in his first two upper teeth! :-)