No Food or Drinks Allowed

I'm a frequent visitor to the chiropractor for a number of reasons which I will not be so presumptuous as to assume that you are interested in. I am not even interested in them. I'm just going to tell you that there is a large sign on the front door which reads:

No Food or Drinks Allowed.

Thank you.

This was discouraging the first time I saw it because I always go in the morning when my sole comfort in life is a deep cup of coffee. But surprise! Just inside the door is a buffet stuffed with beverages and food which cheers even the most pain-wracked of visitors. Coffee, orange juice, hot tea and cocoa are the daily beverage choices. And the food is no receptionist's mints, lemme tell you. There are generous piles of sliced cake, chubby cookies, little Debbie's taffy gobbles, cinnamon doodles, powdery donuts that leave your lips white, and large glazed donut holes in which you might glimpse your reflection. Over the weeks, a collection of signs has grown up around the table. It is with pleasure that I reproduce them for you exactly as they appear printed on white computer paper taped to the wall:

Snacks for

PATIENTS ONLY!

DO NOT

throw your cups with any liquid in our TRASH CANS.
Please pour your drink out in the sink first.
Thanks.

Parents~~

Please help your children
with the snacks and drinks
to prevent unnecessary messes!
Thanks for your help.
The Staff.

This is a SNACK

Not a MEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE BE COURTEOUS OF OTHER PATIENT

THAT MAY COME AFTER YOUR APPOINTMENT.

THE STAFF THANKS IN ADVANCE

AND HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And finally this, accompanied by the image of two hands in a circle with a red line through it:

!Do Not Use Your Hands To Get Food!

(smirk)