Kentucky

July is the month when Danny and I make our annual 850-mile pilgrimage to the home of our Savage ancestors on the shores of Lake Michigan. Although Sam made this pilgrimage last year inutero, he made it this year ex-utero, which was a much more comfortable experience for both of us. Mostly, I wanted to tell you about Sam’s journey, a luxury 16-hour nap punctuated by exciting tourist stops. Let’s talk about Kentucky.

Kentucky is a lovely state of tobacco farms, bourbon distilleries, bluegrass music, and green rolling pastures home to flocks of billboards. One particularly picturesque paddock featured this octuplet:

Flying J Truck Stop. Clean Showers!! ATM!!

Swamp Hollow Baptist Temple -- Abortion Kills Pastor Fitzgerald

Adult Toy Box. REAL Girls! Topless! Topless!

JESUS IS COMING. ARE YOU READY??

Pottery Outlet. Trinkets Gifts Garden Antiques Christmas

Be Careful Who You Trust for Nursing Home Care. Trust the Hamilton Family.

Waffle House. 9 miles ahead. Then left. Then right. 2 miles. Left. On right. Buses Welcome.

Get Marathon Gas. Fresh Donuts. Boiled Peanuts. Firewood.

In a way, I sense that this collage captures some of the various and unwieldy essences of Kentucky, and perhaps America.

Kentucky is also The Horse Capital of the World (let’s not mention this to the rest of the world). Sam did not make it to the Kentucky Derby. But he did spend much of his passage through the Horse State staring at horses’ rear ends which swayed gently to and fro in their trailers on Interstate 75. One rump was a gorgeous dappled silver and resembled the cratered surface of the moon.

Kentucky is also where bourbon began (you may mention this to the rest of the world). The first distillery opened 200 years ago after an “inspired” Reverend mixed corn, rye and barley malt with spring water and discovered a new taste. In 1864, an act of Congress designated bourbon “America’s only Native Spirit,” which was one of Congress’s chief accomplishments during an era when they were fighting some kind of war.

As it turned out, we couldn’t make it to either the Wild Turkey or Jim Beam distilleries before their weekend closing. Understandably, Sam began to fuss. Further efforts revealed that even the Buffalo Trace distillery was closed, and that boasts 12 of our countries largest fermenters!! Sam began to pound his car seat with a little wooden mallet. The Four Roses distillery (with its one-of-a-kind gift shop!), the Makers Mark distillery (fully air conditioned!), the Woodford Reserve (which uses copper pots!), the Oscar Getz Museum of Whiskey History, and the Heaven Hill Distilleries Bourbon Heritage Center were likewise closed. Sam’s mallet catapulted into the front seat warningly. Imagine then, my relief, to see a small sign indicating that we would soon be approaching the location of the ORIGINAL Kentucky Fried Chicken. We immediately resolved to visit. I like to think that we were taking lemons and making lemonade, a beverage which may not hold a glass to bourbon. And yet.

(to be continued in next blog...)